The Mosquito Hunter

One word. Mosquitoes.

Honestly, they haven’t really bothered me much more than the occasional annoyance when I am trying to sleep. But this sentiment is far less dramatic, and this, my friends, is a dramatic entry, so prepare yourselves…

(Not suitable for young children or the weak of heart)

The presence of mosquitoes helped passed many lonely times at Miss J’s house. I found myself stalking the little beasts on more than one occasion. It was hunter-gatherer style, minus the gathering. Like many other Caribbean homes, every room in Miss J’s house was outfitted with the Excalibur of mosquito slaying. This fiercest of weapons, known to most as The Jolt, resembles a mere tennis racket. But camouflaged as the webbing of the racket, thin electric bars immediately shock unsuspecting mosquitoes at the push of a button. Powered only by two AA batteries, Miss J says that she only needs replace them once every 2 years, making The Jolt a very practical weapon.

Taking a few days to perfect my technique, my highest record by the end of the 2 weeks was 32 mosquitoes in one day. I was hunting them for sport, leaving no pests behind. Anytime the buzz was in the air, I would grab the nearest Jolt, and stand, sit or lie still until I had the target within sight. Against all intuition, mosquito hunting does not rely on speed. Rather an inner channeling, as if to call them to their death as would a siren to sailors. Using myself as prey, I would wait until the mosquito approached me; tricking it into thinking it was in for a tasty treat, my A- blood is as sweet as it comes. I would raise my Jolt, wave it calmly through the air, then ZAP, it was over. The most gratifying part of the kill came not at the time of death, but a few seconds later when the crisp burnt air of their tiny bodies hit my nostrils.

I am not as lucky here at Lloyd’s Place, even though The Jolt only costs $10.95 at Chelsea’s Drugstore, I can’t justify buying something I won’t take with me on my next adventure. I already have too many possessions for my current lifestyle. Luckily, the presence of Lloyd the lizards keep mosquitoes to a minimum. I hardly have as many bites as my first week here.

If you can’t tell, mosquitoes were a popular discussion along my St. Thomas adventures today. Kevin, the grounds keeper of the East End Plaza educated me on their numbing venom. Apparently, when mosquitoes feed off of their host, they inject numbing venom so their meal is more discreet. It is the venom that irritates most humans to produce the red bump we call a bug bite. Over time humans can become more tolerant to the venom, avoiding irritation from injection. So even though I do not have physical itchy bug bites, I am still getting bitten as much as when I first arrived.

When I consulted Karlsson’s The Wild Life in an Island House, I was disappointed to merely find the history of Malaria and a brief explanation of DDT. Malaria does not exist in the Virgin Islands anymore due to the extensive use of DDT prior to 1970. DDT is not used anymore thanks to Rachel Carson’s publication of Silent Spring. Karlsson did mention in this section the usage of bleach in her water cistern to prevent mosquito breeding grounds. I need to ask Sandra if our cistern is treated with anything since I’ve been using it to cook my rice and pasta. Ugh. Cancer.