Lloyd's Place

I knew this day would come.

Whenever I walk up my wooden stairs to get to the driveway to ultimately descend Red Hook Mountain Road, I see at least 5 tiny lizards. Liking alliteration, they have all become named Lloyd Lizard. Anytime one of these little guys scurries around, I greet him “hey Lloyd,” “sup Lloyd?,” “Lord Lloyd, pleasure.” Their presence does not bother me too much but you will not find me going out of my way to touch or get near the delicate dinos.

In addition to all the essentials my landlord also furnished me with a nearly full bookcase. Amongst the collection of trashy romance novels three books jumped off the shelf (pun intended), and now reside on my futon-side table. The Collected Fat, “dozens of new sea stories from the most outrageous marine journalist in the Caribbean”; Saving Fish from Drowning, by Amy Tan; and The Wild Life in an Island Home, by Gail Karlsson. Karlsson views all the creatures in her book as interesting roommates rather than pests. She tells a funny little story of various bugs, rodents and lizards complimenting them with practical ways of safely living with them.

I’ll read one section every now and then. When I first picked up the book, I flipped right to the section on Lizards. This, I would later learn, was an omen. She begins:

Lizards are a pleasure to have in the house because they like to eat mosquitoes and other bugs but are not creepy like scorpions and spiders. It is especially gratifying to sit at dinner on the deck and see a lizard eating up the bugs that are attracted to the outside light. They sit around and wait for their prey to come near, and then quickly lunge at them.

Way to go Lloyd! Eating all those terrible mosquitoes. Although overall agreeing with Karlsson, I had a few problems with this opening paragraph. Since I have not actually witnessed Lloyd eating any mosquitoes, I would not describe our interaction as a “pleasure.” Also, note to self—there are scorpions and spiders. After reading the remainder of the lizard section, I immediately read up on scorpions and spiders. I’m a little worried.

Karlsson continues to describe the difference between the various species and sexes of Lizards or anoles, their scientific name. Being very territorial, anoles will stake out specific corners of a house and stick to them. She even tells a story of one of her son’s playmates carrying a pet anole around, wearing it as an earring. He had trained it to bite onto his earlobe and hang for extended periods of time.

After reading this section I felt more knowledgeable and even eager to see more lizards to determine their sex and notice their different colorings. In my naivety, I misread the title of her book, The Wild Life in an Island House, as The Wild Life Near, Around and Outside an Island Home. I hadn’t seen any Lloyds residing in my house, that is, until today. I opened my door, and there on my pillow Lloyd was, just sitting. A little unnerved, I lunged at Lloyd. Scared, she (all signs pointed to her femininity) scurried away. But my heart dropped, I knew whose territory I was in. That’s when the Lacoco Nest was more appropriately dubbed Lloyd’s Place.